These days, it seems like for every thigh gap and skinny tea thrown at us, we're also flooded with grandiose messages of body positivity and self-confidence. Of course, it's better that at least awareness is being raised about a very important issue, but the way in which it is publicized is most of the time inept at best and harmful at worst."Love yourself" has become a platitude:
Love yourself--after you've lost ten pounds on our miracle diet. Love yourself--in our new fall collection. Love yourself--but keep it to yourself.
In The Breakfast Club, Ally Sheedy compares female sexuality to a double-edged sword: "If you haven't, you're a prude. If you have, you're a slut. It's a trap." The same can very much be said for loving yourself. If you don't, you're stunted. If you do, you're a narcissist.
I've had enough of magazines pushing body positivity one one page, and bikini body tips on the next. I've had enough of diet ads telling us how much happier and self-loving, not healthier, people are after losing weight. I've had enough the media dictating the very selective ways in which we are allowed to "be ourselves."
It's all a facade to save face. The media is not stupid. They are well aware of the backlash to their portrayal of racial and sexual norms, body image and the obsessive need to conform to an acceptable mold, but they also see dollar signs everywhere. Diets, fashion, beauty, cosmetic surgery--all very lucrative industries largely dependent either on people's insecurities or their struggle for societal acceptance, or both. People in these industries have no intention of sabotaging their profits, but simultaneously playing as self-styled moral crusaders means that they wash their hands of responsibility for their message, and can have their cake and eat it, too.
Yes, we're commercializing off of completely unrealistic standards and blind conformity, but seriously, just love yourself.
Imagine this: you're a soldier at war. There's a shortage of weapons, so the general takes away your gun and gives it to one of the soldiers on the front lines. When it's your turn to deploy, the general pumps you up with a motivational, empowering speech, and sends you off to win the battle...despite the fact that he just took your gun.
We need to be aware that this is exactly how the media treats us. It overwhelms us daily with enough images and words to destroy our self-confidence, and then tells us that we are strong and beautiful and worthy. It's a subtle knife: masked by the right words, but in practice, stabbing us right in the back.
I am by no means an expert on self-love. I, like most of you, am learning, and it's a constant struggle, but the first step to success is being aware of the toxicity and hypocrisy that confronts us each day in the name of empowerment.
Regardless of how many plus-size models grace magazine covers, or how much diversity there is on Orange is the New Black, we should never listen too closely to what the media has to say about our image and self-esteem. In the end, they're a business like any other, and are primarily interested in making a buck. It might be a good idea to try disregarding what the media has to say on these issues one way or the other. Whether their intentions are legitimately good, or just a publicity stunt, either way, they are in no position to dictate how you should feel about you.
Love yourself. Yup, that's it, no conditions, period. Love yourself, today.
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